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Uncle Joe^s Jewel 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



BY 



K. McDowell rice 



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UNCLE JOE'S JEWEL 



A Comedy in Three Acts 



K. Mcdowell rice 



Author of " Mrs Tubbs's Telegram," Charley's Country 
Cousin," "Mrs Bagg's Bargain Day," etc., etc. 



PUBLISHED BY 

K. Mcdowell rice 

Wortliington, Mass. 






Tj>^^"^1> 



Copyright 1908 
K. McDowell Bice 

ALL, RIGHTS RESERVED 



© 






Ci. A 






SEP 


1 


7909 




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Price, '26' cents 

Order of K. McDowell Rice 

Worthington, Mass. 

Printed by Gazette Printing Co. 
Northampton, Mass. 



F^ac^iv«d from 
Copyright Office. 

JUN It 19tO 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 



Grace Horton 

Molly Armstrong 

Nora, the janitor's daughter 

Mr. Winthrop (Uncle Joe) 

Jack Wetherbee 

Karl Pfeffer 

Postman 

Time : The present. 

Place : Apartment of Misses Horton and Armstrong, two col- 
lege graduates, who are engaged in literary work. 



This is a Royalty Play and terms must be made with the 
author for its use 



Permission to act or make any use of this play must be 
obtained of K. McDowell Rice, Worthington, Massachusetts. 



UNCLE JOPS JEWEL. 



ACT I. 

Curtain rises showing Molly Armstrong [background H] pound- 
ing away on a typewriter. Grace Horton at table opposite 
side of room [foreground] composing something which she 
holds and reads to herself, then with pencil make some change 
in composition. 
Molly. [Jumps up suddenly and runs to stove, foreground R] 
Mercy ! This cereal is burning ! You can't leave these things 
one minute. [Stirs somethiny in kettle vigorously] It's a pity 
with all the inventions in the world, somebody couldn't invent 
something to keep a thing going in a kettle. 
Grace. Is it really burned ? 

M. [Still vigorous] No ; I just saved it. [Scrapes bottom of 
kettle] But one can't write a thing with the thought that some- 
thing needs to be stirred. 

G. Something really ought to be invented. Uncle Joe used to 
say so years ago when he'd be visiting us and see mother always 
hanging over the stove stirring something. [Rises] I'll stir it 
now, Molly. 

M. [Refusing to surrender spoon] No, if you're composing 
anything, go back. 

G. It's finished 1 [Waves paper] Hear this. [Reads, fore- 
ground C] 

Oh, could I find that to thy mind 

My image ever strayed. 
Would cease to start this anxious heart 
So prone in doubts to wade. 
How do you like that ? 



6 UNCLE joe's jewel 

M. [Shrugs and looks dubious'] All good but the wading bus- 
iness. [Continues stirring] That suggests wet feet and a possi- 
ble attack of never-get-over, "What are you writing that stuff 
for, anyway, Grace? I believe you're getting sentimental. 
G. [Reads ivith expression] 

Or could I know that in thy thoughts 

E'en one there was of me. 
Would sink to rest this troubled breast 
That heaves at thought of thee. 
M. [Business-like tone] [Stirs cereal laboriously] All good 
but the heaves business. That suggests horses somehow. 
G. But it's a valentine. 

M. A valentine ! O, then it's all right. Anything goes in a 
valentine. You're not going to send it to anybody? [G. nods 
assent] Why Grace [Aggrieved tone] I thought we had both 
given up being sentimental, and had taken these two rooms 
together and were just going to be bachelor maids. [Turns head 
slightly away from G. as though vexed] 

G. [Steals to side of M.] I didn't say I was going to send it 
to a man, did I ? [Tosses head laughing ; returns C] I'm going 
to send it to win a prize if I can. 

M. [Leaves stove. Takes paper. Beads delightedly] [Fore- 
ground C] [G. looks over M's left shoulder] 

Oh, could I find that to thy mind 

My image ever strayed, 
Would cease to start this anxious heart 
So prone in doubts to wade. 
Perfectly splendid, Grace ! Make a big red heart here, and some 
colonial knots there. Wind them in so. [Indicates with G's 
pencil] Wait, let me read the next. It's great I [Reads] 
Or could I know that in thy thoughts 

E'en one there was of me, 
Would sink to rest this troubled breast, 
That heaves at thought of thee. 

That's fine, Grace, perfectly fine. One of the sweetest things I 
ever read I Put the first verse to the left, see, and then bring the 
second way over here to the right. There, that sort of balances 
it, don't you see? Really this could be made quite artis- 



UNCLE JOES JEWEL 7 

tic. [Both look at sheet admiringly] [M. starts, screams and 
runs to stove] This everlasting cereal caught down again ! 
[Stirs vigorously] Can't we invent something ? The idea of be- 
ing in the midst of designing a valentine, and having to attend 
to this mundane business 1 [Bangs around the kettle] How 
much is the prize ? 

G. Fifty dollars. 

M. Fifty dollars ! Well, we ought to get that. We need it. 

Gr. [Approaches M.] If you'd only decorate it, Molly. 
[Pleadingly] You will make it so much prettier than I can. 

M. All right, I will. [Gives a final stir to the cereal, then 
leads the way to G's table. G. brings M"s former chair. Both 
seat themselves and consult, M. on G.'s left] How do you like the 
way I spoke of ? The big red heart there. One verse here, the 
second there. [Indicates] Let me sketch it in. [Sketches rapidly] 
[They exchange exclamations of ''Oh, thafs pretty !" ''There, 
how ivould this go 9" " Oh, thafs a good idea!" " Now put this 
here," etc. , etc.] [In midst of this M. starts and runs to stove. G. 
all interested in the drawing is about to take chair M. has just left. 
M, snatches kettle from stove, holding by bail in one hand and 
stirring ivith other] My, but this handle is hot ! [Dances about, 
kettle still in hand] Where shall I set it? [Runs toward G. as 
though to set kettle on table] 

G. [Screams] Don't set it there ! [M. goes desperately for 
another place to set kettle] Don't set it i/iere .' [Follows M. about, 
protesting and finally guides her back to stove, M. screaming with 
the pain and crying "Where shall I set it 9 Where shall I set it ? "J 

M. [Sets kettle on stove with a bang and goes off wringing her 
hand and bloiving breath on it] Ginger ! But that was hot I 
[Sinks into chair L.] We simply must invent something ! 

G. [Stirs thoughtfully] Uncle Joe used to talk of some bit 
of machinery that would run around the edge of a kettle 
[Touches edge of kettle in demonstration then hastily withdraws 
finger on account of the heat and motions just above the edge] 
and have an attachment that would sink into the kettle [Indi- 
cates] and keep whatever was in it constantly agitated. 

M. Why, yes. [Still nursing her finger around which she ties 
her handkerchief] A sort of spoon I suppose. 

G. It was more like a knife, I think, as Uncle Joe described it. 



8 UNCLE joe's jewel 

M. [Talks with end of ha-tidkerchief between teeth as she ties 
knot] Of course, to keep the edges clean so nothing would stick. 
A grand idea. "Why didn't your Uncle Joe go on with it ? 

G. Oh, I don't know. [Still stirring] He's very rich and 
necessity, you know, is the mother of invention. 1 don't know 
as he has thought of it since. But I've heard of his patenting 
other things. Mother used to say he talked a great deal about 
this and I don't believe I ever stir anything in a kettle without 
thinking of Uncle Joe and how he used to say : "It ca7i be done 
and I shall think it out." 

M. Well, he would have been a blessing to womankind if he 
had thought it out. [Comes forward C] Look here, Grace, do 
you feel up to snuff, so to speak ? 

G. [Continues to stir] I don't know. What do you want 
to do? 

M. Oh, I want to do something really venturesome ! I just 
want to see how the thing will turn out. Sh — sh — [Looks all 
about] It will be a great secret. 

G. What is it? 

M. Just this. [Laughs mischievously] Let's advertise an in- 
vention for lightening women's labor, something that will keep 
things going in a kettle. Just for the fun of the thing, you know, 
and see if anybody will send for it. 

G. What a funny idea 1 What ever put it into your head ? 

M. I don't know. But life is so prosy just now. Nothing 
but your indexing and my typewriting. Let's have a little fun 
just by ourselves. [Comes to G's side pleading] 

G. [Apparently unmoved continues to dig with the spoon into 
the cereal] But suppose somebody should send for the invention ? 

M. [ Undaunted] We can return the money and say the lot is 
sold out. [Turns away (C) as though taking matter lightly] I'm 
going to try it anyway just for sport. Come on, Grace. Just 
for the lark. 

G. But the advertisement will cost something. 

M. Not much for only one insertion. And, Grace, you can't 
have any fun in this world unless you pay a little something. 
[Lightly] Besides our valentine prize may pay the bills later. 
Come on, Grace, let's get up a really good Ad. [Puts arm about 
G. who begins to relent] 



UNCLE JOE S JEWEL 9 

G. Well, wait a minute, let's see. [Turns dovm wick of 
heater and leaves it to join M. loho dances lightly off having won 
her point ; G. continues somewhat serious C] " Labor-saving de- 
vice for women." How would that do ? 

M. [At table] That's rather hackneyed. Make it sort of 
startling : " Let the men heed and let the women hearken." 

G. [Laughs] They'll make you pay for all those words. 

M. [Droops] So they will. [Brightens] Then let's just say 
"Men heed." and put an exclamation point, then "Women 
hearken," and put another. We won't have to pay for exclama- 
tion points ! [Drums lighthf on table as though playing as she 
half sings the last sentence] 

G. That's good. [Takes pad from table, returns C] [Writes] 
Then how would this be? We ought to explain at once just what 
the invention is. " An invention to keep the contents of a kettle 
constantly agitated." [M. nods assent] Oh, wait a minute. 
I'm getting something good here. [Writes laughing, then reads] 
"No more sticking cereals! No more scorched custards! No 
more lumping gravies I The Gem does the work I " 

M. [Claps hands] Perfectly splendid ! Why Grace, you 
ought to write advertisements for a living. [Siezes G. and 
twirls her around. G. remains stiff during the action] 

G. [Laughs] Now they always go on to say, "A child can 
use it." 

M. Let us go even further and say, " An infant can adjust it 
on top of a kettle and set it going." 

G. [Marking ivords with her pencil as if counting them] Per- 
haps we've said enough. We've got to put price and address. 
Let's not make it too long. 

M, All right. End it up with another exclamation point ! 
But [Thoughtfully] I don't know, Grace, about that word 
" Gem". It's the name of that little pencil that's everywhere ad- 
vertised. Perhaps we can't use it. 

G. [Aghast] We must be careful about that. 

M. Yes, imagine infringing on somebody's patent when our 
own invention hasn't even been patented yet ! 

G. [Considers] Wouldn't "Jewel " be better ? 

M. [Enthusiastically] Yes, Jewel. [A moment later] Bet- 
ter still, "Uncle Joe's Jewel." 



10 UNCLE joe's jewel 

G. [Laughs merrily] I guess that won't infringe. I'm sure 
I never heard of that. 

M. Nor I. And it's good to bring a man's name in it. You 
know it would take better than, for instance, "Aunt Jerusha's 
Jewel," for Grace, there are some women just silly enough to 
think it would be better for having a man in it. [Drawls out the 
word scornfully] Now, I'll read it all. [Reads] [Throws out 
arm, dramatically] " Men heed ! Women hearken ! Invention 
to keep contents of kettle constantly agitated. No more stick- 
ing cereals ! No more scorched custards ! No more lumping 
gravies ! ' Uncle Joe's Jewel ' does the work ! " 

G. [Laughs heartily] It's the funniest thing I ever knew. 
You can get up more things, Molly. [Admiringly] Now let's 
put a good price on it. I'm so afraid somebody will send for it 
if we don't. 

M. [Promptly] Call them fifty cents apiece. [ Waves paper] 
I guess that will scare most everybody. [Oives paper to Gr.J 

Gr. All right. Fifty cents each. [Writes] [Reads] "Order 
of Horton & Armstrong," then give our address. [Suddenly 
aghast] But suppose some of our friends should see it ? [Turns 
away from M. with paper] 

M, [Stoutly] No matter, let them see it. They'll think how 
clever we are. Now don't begin and take back track, Grrace. 
Give me that paper. [Captures papier] This advertisement is 
going to Household Hints to-night. [Motions to stove] You at- 
tend to that cereal, will you ? 

G. Mercy ! [Ru7is to stove] I'd forgotten all about it 1 
[Stirs vigorously] 

M. What we ought to have, Grace, is that novelty — that — 
is advertised. That thing that is making such a sensation in the 
cooking world. What is the name of it ? [Appears to he think- 
ing] 

G. Oh, yes, I know. [Regards M. mischievously] [Leaves 
stove holding up finger significantly] 

M. and G. [In unison] [Looking at each other and each 
marking words with uplifted finger as they advance in measured 
step laughingly toward each other foreground C] "Uncle 
Joe's Jewel " ! 

CURTAIN. 



UNCLE joe's jewel 11 



ACT II. 



Three weeks later. Grace Horton seated at large table (L 
further side) surrounded hy paper's. Orders stuck on spindle 
files, cabinet for letters, etc., etc. She finishes a letter on the 
typewriter, takes it out of viachine, folds, etc., etc. 

Grace. [Wearily'] It commenced as a lark, but it is perfectly 
dreadful the way it is turning out. Who ever thought we'd get 
fifty orders a day, [Motions to spindles\ and all this money I 
We have had to get a nail keg to keep the silver in. And then 
all these stamps. [Lifts up sheet of stamps] I really feel like a 
thief. All pictures of Washington, too, that man who never told 
a lie. Molly says we'll send it all back as soon as we can, but we 
really haven't time, we're so busy sending postal cards to people 
telling them the lot is sold out. Fortunately, I've studied index- 
ing, and every order is indexed, and the money is all right. But 
to think our little advertisement put in only once should bring 
such a lot of trade. We've had to get a cabinet to put the orders 
in, and I'm really frightened to have all this money coming to 
the house, cheques and money-orders and cash and stamps. 
[Designates same shaking head mour'nfully] 

Enter Molly (C.) 

Molly. [Comes up behind G.] Do you remember, Grace, an 
order from a Mrs, Tompkins of Kalamazoo ? 

Grace. [Tearfully] Yes. [Does not turn her head] 

M. Now, Grace, brace right up. [Shakes G. playfidly] 
We've got into this thing and we must make the best of it. 

G. [Still mournful] Does Mrs. Tompkins want her money 
back? 

M. No, she wants to double her order, and sends another 
cheque. 

G. And she hasn't even seen the thing ! 

M. She says it's something she's always hoped would be in- 
vented. She has two hotels and wants to equip them. 

G. Isn't it dreadful ? [Still does not look around] 

M. [Laughs cheerfully] No, not in one way. We're saving 
about fifty women a day from nervous prostration. They say 
they're all tired out, but that life looks different to them, now 



12 UNCLE joe's jewel 

that this invention has come to notice. I've some fine letters 
here. [Exhibits handful of letters] It all goes to show there's 
really a great demand for just such a thing. Now, if we can 
only find some one to invent it. Where is your Uncle Joe ? 

G. He's in California. It would take so long to reach him 
and besides he may never have thought of it for years. 

M. Don't you know anybody of an inventive turn ? 

G. [Mournfully] No, I don't. 

M. Now, look here, Grace, you have got to brace up. [Looks 
out of window having crossed toB,.] Here comes the postman. 

G. [Wringing her hands] Oh, if he only would go by ! 

M. Well, he won't, he's just loaded. [Listens] Yes, he's 
coming up. 

Enter Postman (C.) 

M. [Cheerfully] Good morning ! 

Postman. Good morning, miss. 

M. Another nice lot of letters for us I see. 

P. [Grinning] Yes, miss, business is lively these days. 
[Hands letters toM.] 

M. Very lively indeed, thank you. 

G. [Hands out a package of letters] Oh, postman, will you 
mail these please? [Wails out the request] [Postman takes 
same and puts in bag] 

Exit Postman 

G. Oh, Molly, it's so splendid you can keep up such a bold 
front. 

M. [Looks over letters, standing C] Orders, orders, orders I 
[Laughs] Well, we'd better advertise now for a man to invent 
Uncle Joe's Jewel and make his fortune. [Opens letter, from 
which a sheet of stamps falls out unnoticed by M.] 

G. [Rises in her chair and points across the table ominously at 
the floor] Oh I [Quivering voice] There are more of those 
George Washingtons ! 

M. [Starts back at G's tragic attitude, then follounng motion 
of her extended arm, discovers the stamps ivhich she picks up with 
a laugh] I'm glad of it. He's just the man for us. Can't have 
too many of him. We need somebody in the firm now of strict- 
est integrity. Look at that fine face I He crossed his Delaware, 



tTNCLE JOE*S JEWEL 18 

and^now we're crossing ours. Don't lose courage, Grace. Here 
are some letters for you. [Hands same] 

G. [In tones of happy discovery] Why, here's one from Jack 
Wetherbee I [Resumes seat] 

M. What, your old sweetheart? Well, thank fortune, he 
doesn't want Uncle Joe's Jewel, — unless he thinks it's you. 

Gr. [Laughs consciously] [Then having opened the letter; 
aghast] He's really seen the advertisement. 

M. [Placidly] Of course, my dear. Everybody in the United 
States has seen that advertisement. But don't tell me Jack 
Wetherbee has taken to doing his own cooking ! [Perches on the 
table] 

G. [Reads] "I see by your advertisement that you and Mis? 
Armstrong are going into a little business. All success to you ! 
I write to say that if you want to enlarge the business " 

M. [Throws up her hands] Enlarge it ! Heaven forefend ! 

G. [Reads] " I have just had most unexpectedly some money 
left me by a relative I never knew nor heard of in Wales." 

M. With all that man's money, to think he's got unknown 
relatives pouring more on him ! 

G. [Reads] " I shall be very glad to invest this money in 
Uncle Joe's Jewel at your own per cent. It strikes me as an 
awfully nice thing for you two girls to do, and really a blessing, 
too, to lighten the labor of others. If I can help you in any way, 
let me know. I notice your Ad. is ' T. F.', so it sounds prosper- 
ous." [Interrupts herself] 'T. F.'? What does that mean? 
[Aghast] ' Till Forever ' ? Perhaps the thing is running on ! 

M. [Reassuringly] No, I told them only one insertion and 
only paid for one, and you have to pay in advance. 

G. It's evidently some business abbreviation that we don't 
understand. [Returns to letter] [Reads] " I would with pleas- 
ure give you a notice in our commercial paper." 

M. Another advertisement ! This must be what is meant by 
being killed by kindness. 

G. [Gasps] Oh, Molly I 

M. What is it, Grace ? Let's have the worst. Does he want 
a carload of them delivered to-night ? What is it, Grace ? 
Good or bad ? 

G. [Reads excitedly] " Should you wish to make any change 
in your place of manufacture " 



14 UNCLE joe's jewel 

M. [LaugJis deliriously] Place of manufacture ! 

G. [Reads] " I would recommend Karl Pfeffer. You may 
remember him. 

M. Karl Pfeffer ! 

G. Your old flame, Molly. [Reads] "He makes the sort of 
things you advertise, but nothing just like it." 

M. Nothing just like it ! I rather guess not. 

G. [Reads] " If he can be of any assistance to you in getting 
out new patents " 

M. New patents I 

G. [Reads] " Just call upon him, I enclose his card." [Ex- 
amines card with interest] Karl's business card I [M. having 
turned away does not regard it] 

M. Oh, oh, [Takes her head in both ha7ids] what a relief ! 
[Sinks into chair, R and throics out arms] Oh, I never had any- 
thing come as such a blessing before I Perhaps Karl Pfeffer, 
that little red headed boy that used to carry my books to school 
is going to prove our good angel. [Drops arms] Oh, Grace, 
what a relief ! Don't speak to me until I recover from this re- 
lief. I can see how people pass right out of existence at ecstatic 
moments like this 1 [Closes her eyes and relaxes utterly] 

G. [Rises in her seat and calls across to M. in consternation] 
Molly, Molly, don't go off at this juncture, and leave me with 
all these unfilled orders, besides I haven't finished Jack Wether- 
bee's letter yet. 

M. [In tones of supreme content] Go on with it. It's the 
sweetest music ever I heard [Then teasingly] and sweeter of 
course to you, Gracie-Grace. 

G. If you mean to insinuate that I care anything for Jack 
Wetherbee, I don't at all, and never did. 

M. No, but he liked you, you know. No matter. Don't stop 
for trifles. I'm getting violently in love with him myself. I 
should simply throw myself in his arms if I met him. [Demon- 
strates] [G. draws herself up as though not caring to have her 
property thus appropriated] He has saved my lifel 

G. Well, he has saved me, with all those other fifty women a 
day, from nervous prostration. I will say that for him. 

M. And if a man saves a woman from that dreadful thing, 
her duty is to marry him outright, Grace. 



tjNcLE Joe's jewel 15 

&. Nonsense ! Don't talk marriage to me ! 

M. [Rises and covies forward dramatically, throws out her 
arms and assumes stage tones] It's our valentine, Grace, our 
prize valentine that you composed and I decorated. It's work- 
ing on me ! And then the relief of knowing an inventor is at 
hand I It makes me in love with the whole world. [Extends 
arms in ecstasy] 

G. [ With intention] Karl Pf effer included ? 

M. Karl Pfeft'er. I wonder if I'd know him ! I wonder if 
his hair is red yet ? 

G. It never was at all red, Molly. A little sandy perhaps. 
How long since you've seen him ? 

M. Oh, a good ten years ; time for lots of improvement. He 
couldn't grow worse looking, that's one comfort ! 

G. He was an awfully nice boy, Molly, and a nice looking boy 
too, and perfectly devoted to you. You ought to remember that. 
Besides it is he rather than Jack that is going to get us out of 
this tangle. Karl probably can invent just what is needed. 

M. [Dramatically, stage tones, extending hands as over a 
bended head] My everlasting blessing on thy head, thy red head, 
Karl Pfefeer ! 

G. [Reads] " Karl and I are to be in Boston to-morrow on 
business, not two hours from you. If you care to see us, if by 
any possibility we could be of service to you, telegraph ' Thorn- 
dike.' 

M. You answer these letters, Grace, I'll go telegraph. 

G. What will you say ? 

M. Say ? I shall say, " Come ! Come ! ! Come ! ! ! " 

Exit M. laughing (C.) 

G. [Gathers up letters and prepares to take them methodically] 
[Opens one] [Reads] ' ' Please send me five dozen Uncle Joe's 
Jewel. We have a church fair on the 25th, and I'm sure these 
will sell. If you give a discount on this number, please do so. 
Our fair is for benefit of the education of a little colored girl at 
the south. Please give us best possible rates." [Aside] I'm 
afraid the little girl's education will be at a standstill if they are 
depending on Uncle Joe's Jewel. [Writes] Dear Madam : In 
reply to yours of the [Consults letter] twentieth, we are very 



16 tJNCLE joe's jewel 

sorry to say that at present we have none of Uncle Joe's Jewel 
in stock. Orders have been beyond all expectation. Respect- 
fully yours, Horton & Armstrong." Molly composed that and 
I've sent out about five hundred of them. [Folds letter, puts 
in envelope and addresses it] [Opens another letter-] [Calls] 
Molly, Molly ! 

M. [In distance] Yes. 

G. [Calls] What do you say to people when they want to 
know size and weight of Uncle Joe's Jewel? 

M. [In distance] " Yours received. [Singsong] Will write 
you later on points you mention." 

G. [Writes] "Yours received. Will write you later on 
points you mention. Respectfully, Horton & Armstrong." 
[Opens another letter] [Reads in high voice to reach M.] " Our 
Ladies' Aid Society wishes to know whether Uncle Joe's Jewel 
could be dressed up as a doll. We have thought we might buy a 
hundred of them, and sell on ' Q-entlemen's Night ' to make a 
little sport. They would buy them for their lady friends. Tele- 
graph at our expense. Mrs. Samuel Smithers, Prest. Ladies' Aid. 

Enter Molly (C.) 

M. [Comes forward] How perfectly lovely ! 

Q-. What do you mean ? 

M. Why to telegraph at anybody's expense. It's just like 
traveling on a pass. I must answer it. Hand me the telegraph 
pad. [G. hands same] 

G. What are you going to say ? 

M. [Reads as she writes] " Regret no Jewel in stock. Orders 
unprecedented. Would have suited your purpose admirably." 

G. Why, Mary Armstrong, [Gazes at her incredulously] 
how do you dare say that ? 

M. [Innocently] Say what? 

G. That it would have suited their purpose admirably. 

M. Why, Gracious Horton, [Mimicking G's shocked tone] how 
do you dare say it wouldn't ! [Then lightly] Anything can be 
dressed up, as a doll, from a wish bone to a pair of tongs. It 
is more interesting to their Ladies' Aid to see how clever they 
were to think of dressing it up. Besides, we claim everything 
for Uncle Joe's Jewel, we may as well claim this. 



UNCLE joe's jewel , 17 

Gr. [Rises in seat, faces M. and speaks with deliberation] 
Molly, it is all a perfect swindle. 

M. [Gazes at G. in astonishment, then hursts out laughing^ 
"Well, have you just'found that out? Of course it is a swindle 
in a way, but we've started it, and we must see it out. We've 
not wronged anybody. [Knock at door\ 

Exit Molly in haste (R.) 

G. Come in. 

Enter Nora (C.) 

Nora. [Looks about sloicly and vacantly, theri discovers G. at 
table] Oh, mother says to be tellin" ye there's a man down stairs 
to see j'e. 

G. A man 1 

M. [Puts head through doonvay] A man ! 

G. Come back, Molly, it's only Nora. [To Nora] Did you 
see him, Nora? 

Re-enter M. (R.) 

N. Yes, miss. 

G. What was he like? 

N. He's white-headed, miss. 

M. Then it isn't Karl, I'm sure of that. 

G. An old gentleman, Nora ? 

N. Quite old and sad like. 

M. Then it can't be Jack Wetherbee. Jack was never known 
to look dejected. 

G, Of course, it's neither of them. You just sent your tele- 
gram, Molly, and they wouldn't come before they heard. They 
may not get here for a day or two. This is an old gentleman, 
Nora says. 

N. [Nods assent] And a very foine gintleman he is, miss. 
He come in his kerridge, miss, with two horses and a driver. 
[Points io G.J I think he's a relative to you, miss. 

G. To me ? Who can it be ? [Considers] I believe I know 
who it is, Molly. The new college president. They want a build- 
ing and President Seekmoney is going about to get subscrip- 
tions. I had a notice yesterday and meant to tell you. You 
show him up, Nora. [N. tuims to go] Oh, no, Nora, wait a 



18 UNCLE joe's jewel 

moment and get out the tea things. I may want to give the 
gentleman a cup of tea. You get the hot water and heat the 
teapot as I have told you. 

N, And will ye have the candles, Miss ? " 

G. Oh, yes, light the candles, Nora, and do all the other 
things as I have shown you. 

Nora proceeds to light the wick under the little brass tea-kettle 
after she has taken it out and filled it with water, then as she puts 
a match to each candle of the candelabrum on the tea-table she 
starts back and gives a little " Ah!''' of delight as it comes into 
illumination. M, and Gr. are occupied with setting back the large 
working table to the left, straightening out things on it with gen- 
erous and hurried contributions to the waste basket. Business to 
such extent as may be desired, at the end of ivhich G. tells Nora 
she may show the gentleman up, and Molly makes exit. At de- 
parture of Nora, G. may put some tea in teapot soliloquizing in 
such strain as she chooses about the coming of President Seek- 
MONEY, and that she must be as generous as she can, etc. , etc. In 
midst of her soliloquy Mr. Winthrop appears at portiere opening 
center of background. G. is at tea-table [Foreground 'R] and seeing 
her Mr. W. enters quietly and puts his dress suit case on floor 
unnoticed. G. at this moment turns and recognizing him runs 
delightedly into his arms] 

Enter Mr. Winthrop 

G. [Runs towards him] Oh, Uncle Joe, dear, dear Uncle Joe ! 
[Puts arms about his neck and kisses him] How lovely of you to 
come ! But [Anxiously as she look.^ more closely at him] Oh, 
Uncle Joe, what has happened? Something dreadful I know. 
There, sit right dow^n there in this big chair. [Rolls high- 
backed armchair to foreground C] [Mr. W. does not follow 
and G. returns to him as before at his right] You're not ill, are 
you? Just tired, perhaps? [Looks up at him affectionately] I'll 
have a cup of tea ready in a moment. Uncle Joe. Would j'ou 
take a glass of wine ? 

Mr. Winthrop. [Still standing, shakes his head despairingly] 
[Trembling voice] 1 have failed, Q-race. 

G. [Starts back] Failed I Lost all your money 1 Well, no 
matter, dear, dear Uncle Joe. [ With hands clasped about his 



UNCLE joe's jewel 19 

neck she looks into his face] You have come to just the right 
place. I will take care of you. Oh, do let me take care of you, 
Uncle Joe. You did so much for mother when she was little. 
You were always so generous when you had money. Now that 
it's gone, I shall be glad to show the gratitude mother would, had 
she been living. Promise me, Uncle Joe. 

Mr. W. It isn't the money that is gone, Grace, but I have 
failed with an invention. 

G. [Starts hack relieved] An invention ? Oh, Uncle Joe, I'm 
glad it's no worse ! 

Mr. W. No worse ! Could anything be worse than to have 
an invention just about ready, one little point lacking, and then 
have some one else invent it, and put it on the market ? 

G. Has somebody done that ? How horribly mean of them? 

Mr. W, [Ooes forwai'd] [Foreground C] The wheel was all 
perfected, my dear. [Motions with his hand in demonstration] 
It was just — [Sinks back exhausted in chair G. has previously 
put forward for him] 

G. [Bends over him] Don't talk now. Uncle Joe. Rest there 
until I get you some tea. The water's boiling, I'll have it in a 
moment. [Aside, as she goes toivards tea-table] A bicycle in- 
vention. I remember mother used to say Uncle Joe had a bicycle 
long before they really came out. [Pours out a cup of tea] 

Enter Molly (C.) 

G. [Holds up finger ivarningly, pointing to chair] Uncle Joe 
has come. 

M. [Standing little to right of doorway] Yes, I know, I lis- 
tened. I couldn't help it. 

G. [Goes toward M. stepping quietly and imparting her infor- 
mation in low tones] He has invented a new sort of bicycle, and 
just as he was ready to put it on the market, some one got ahead 
of him. 

M. [Patronizingly and disregarding G.'s attempt to quiet her] 
1 heard all that. You couldn't expect me not to listen after 
you screamed "Uncle Joe" that way. Besides, he's the very 
person we want to see, you know, to talk to about our invention. 

G. Sh-sh- ; don't speak the word " Invention" to him. 

Mr. W. [Rousing] Did somebody say "Invention"? [Looks 
about as though to discover voices] 



30 UNCLE JOE'S JEWEL 

G. [Severely to M.] There, it is just as I told you. NoW 
dont speak the word again. [Brings M. forward to right of Mr. 
W.] This is my friend, Molly Armstrong, Uncle Joe. We live 
here together, 

Mr. W. [Attempts to rise, they shake hands] I am very glad 
to meet you. Miss Armstrong. 

M. Don't rise, Mr. Winthrop. We are very glad to see you, 
and I'm sorry to hear you've had a disappointment. Grace and 
I will try to cheer you up. [G. goes to table for tea] I am very 
much interested in inventions myself. [G. brings tea to Mr. 
W.'s left side] 

G. [Shakes head and hand warningly at M. over back of chair 
in which Mr. W. is seated] Molly ! 

M. [Undaunted] Now Grace, there's no need of not talking 
about inventions. [Mr. W . sips his tea.] 

Mr. W. This tea is very good indeed, my dear. You're like 
your mother, Grace, she always made a good cup of tea. 

M. We've wanted to see you, Mr. Winthrop, and I, for one, 
am very glad indeed you've come. [Still stands on Mr. W.'s 
right] I'm sorry about your bicycle though. If you don't mind, 
I'd like to hear about it. 

Mr. W. [ Wonderi7igly] Bicycle ? 

M. Grace said your invention was connected with a wheel. 

Mr. W. Oh, yes, but not a bicycle wheel. [Straightens up 
and is all interest] [Haiids cup to G. at left] It was the wheel 
part of another invention, an invention [3Iotio7ts as to top of a 
kettle] for keeping contents [Sloivly, one ivord after the other 
while demonstrating] of a boiling pot constantly going. [G. 
follows every word breathlessly, cup trembling in her hand] 

G. and M. [In consternation] What I [Cup falls] 

G. And somebody else has invented it? 

Mr. W. Yes, my dear, there was a description of the article 
in a scientific paper published this morning. 

G. [Aghast, to M. still talking across back of chair] Oh, 
Molly, what will become of us V Somebody else has invented 
it I We never thought of that happening. 

Mr. W. Yes, my dear, my very invention, something to keep 
the contents of a boiling pot from burning. You know a double 
boiler does it [2'o M.] but you can't always stop for that. 



UNCLE joe's jewel " 21 

M. [Warmly] Indeed, j'oii can't. Suppose you want to pick 
up some fish for breakfast ? 

Mr. W. [Eagerhj] That's just it. 

M. You can't wait for a double boiler, you want something 
that's right over the fire to save time, and you want it for lots of 
things. 

Mr. W. Exactly, my dear. You've got the idea exactly. 

M. A woman can't hang over the fire stirring, stirring, for- 
ever. [Demonstrates] 

Mr. W. That's the idea I That's the idea ! 

M. And would your invention scrape the sides of the kettle? 

Mr. W. Clean as a whistle, my dear. [Addresses himself 
with renewed interest to M.] Why you know all about it, don't 

you? 

M. [Earnestly] And the bottom of the kettle? 

Mr. W. Clean as a hound's tooth ! 

M. You would wind it up, and put it on the edge of the kettle? 

Mr. W. [Amazed] Exactly. My dear girl, how do you 
know all this ? 

Gr. [Bending over Mb.. W. and trying to claim his attention] 
You used to tell mother how you would do it some day, Uncle 
Joe, and I told Molly. 

M. [Eager and excited] Oh, Uncle Joe, forgive me, but I 
must call you that. These other people. Uncle Joe, that have 
put this invention on the market, was it, were their names 
given ? [Gr. starts and listens intently] 

Mr. W. Yes, some firm like — let me see — Hilton — -and — 
[Tries to recall] Hilton and — 

G. [Sinks on her knees at side of Mr. W. and ^^utiing right 
arm about his neck, draws his face to hers. Voice trembles ivith 
agitation] Oh, Uncle Joe, think very hard. Was it — could it 
have been — it will mean everything to you, Uncle Joe, every- 
thing to us. Was it Horton and Armstrong? 

Mr. W. [Amazed, taking off his spectacles and looking from 
one to the other] Yes, yes, why ? 

Gr. and M. [M. sinks on floor beside him and both embrace him 
with joyous cries] It is all right, Uncle Joe, all right, all right ! 

CURTAIN. 



23 UNCLE joe's jewel 

ACT III. 
Tivo iveeJcs have elapsed since act second. 
Mr. Winthrop seated at a table assorting papers. [Foreground 
C] He occasionally leaves his seat and goes to rear of room 
from which he brings large books of reference and other books 
connected with the business. 

Mr. W. [Opens letter and reads] " Hilo, Hawaii — " H — H — 
[Consults book to find proper diinsion] Curious, their wanting 
the thing out there. " One touch of nature makes the whole 
world kin." [Finding item in book] Why, it seems we've had 
another order from there. [Makes an entry in a book] [Folds 
up letter, making memoranda on it and lays it aside] [Opens 
second letter] [Reads] " Lingayen, Pangasinaw Province, 
Philippine Islands. Please send me one gross Uncle Joe's Jewel." 
[Reads rest of letter to himself] Well, that's very flattering, I 
am sure. That's the last and I've been a full hour at it. [Folds 
letter and gathers together a large package of others to ivhich he 
has attended and lays them all aside. Then leans back in chair, 
takes off his spectacles and rubs them up] To think this object of 
my life has been so well realized and that there is really profit 
in it. That Pfeffer able to contribute just the point I needed 
and that Wetherbee wanting something to invest money in. So 
far, so good. [Rises] Where are those assistants of mine I'd like 
to know. [Looks out of window] Oh, here comes the first pair ! 
From what young Wetherbee said to me last night, I don't be- 
lieve they'll want a third party around. [Straightens packages 
of letters and arranges table, carrying back books to place from 
which he got them] 

Exit Mr. W. (L.) 

Enter Grace Horton and Jack Wetherbee (C.) 

Grace. [As both advance to table, G. ivith handfid of letters] 
I hope Uncle Joe has finished all this morning's orders, for I've 
a lot here the postman just handed me. How interesting it all 
is for Uncle Joe ! Will you ever forget his face the other night 
when we wound up the little "Jewel " and put it on the edge of 
the kettle and it went around just as he had expected. [Jack 
follows her every word and gesture with interest, nodding 



- UNCLE joe's jewel 23 

assent] Isn't Karl Pfeffer wonderful, all the things he has in- 
vented! It's so nice to think we can really fill orders now. 
That uncertainty that Molly and I labored under for awhile was 
perfectly dreadful. 

Jack. Yes ; I know something about uncertainty myself, 
and as you say it is a dreadful sort of thing. I say, Grace, do 
you know why I was especially interested in that advertisement 
of yours? 

G. [Abse7itly looking over letters, putting one under another 
in her hand] No. 

J. [With intention] Well, I wanted an Uncle Joe's Jewel. 

G. [Naively] Did you? [Glances swiftly up at him] For 
housekeeping purposes ? [Lay package of letters on table] 

J. [Earnestly] I wanted one more to keep, you know, and to 
have always for my own. 

G. [Lightly] Well, we're making them now, you know. 
Five hundred a day or more. Better speak to Uncle Joe. 

J. I have spoken to Uncle Joe. He says, " Yes." You know 
that advertisement of yours was put in " T. F.", Grace? 

G. Yes, so you wrote and I meant to ask you what that 
" T. F." meant. We didn't either of us know, and there was 
some mistake for we only meant the advertisement for once and 
they ran it right on. 

J. Well, Grace, that " T. F." means " Till Forbidden." 

G. It does ! "Till Forbidden"! Why I should never have 
thought of that. That explains why it is running on. 

J. And, Grace, I'm something like that advertisement, I'm 
going to hang around here and beg for Uncle Joe's Jewel " till 
forbidden." [Lays his hand on hers ivhich is resting on back of 
the chair between them] Just a certain Uncle Joe's Jewel 
[Takes her hand and carries it up to his heart] you know, Grace. 
The kind of which there is only one in the whole world for me. 

G. [Slowly takes away her hand and turns from him] Do you 
know, do you know. Jack, [Takes tico or three steps away from 
him, eyes doivncast] that I thought that " T. F." meant "Till 
Forever" and so I say [Turns radiantly] Yes, Jack, [Holds 
out both hands] till forever. [J. catches her hands in ecstasy and 
is about to embrace her when G. looks totvards door] Oh, here 
come Molly and Karl! [Both go hastily to opposite sides of 
room, J. to left, and G. to right] 



S4 UNCLE joe's jewel 

Enter Molly Armstrong and Karl Pfeffer (C.) 

[Ka-RL turns to left and evidently tells Jack ( Background L) 
some news calling for congratulation, for they shake hands most 
cordially] 

Molly. [Runs to Grace] [Foreground RJ "What do you 
suppose, I've the greatest news for you! Karl and I are engaged. 
[G. embraces her with expressions of delight] Don't tell any- 
body. I'm so surprised I can't get over it. It all happened so 
quickly. I always said I would keep a man waiting for an 
answer, and some way I forgot all about it, and said "Yes " right 
off, but then, Karl is such a dear. [Looks in direction of K. who 
catches her eye and smiles] Oh, Grace, if you only knew what 
fun it is to be engaged, [Regards her new ring most consciously] 
and we've only been so for about half an hour ! I meant not to 
tell, but I forgot that. [Looks about] You and Jack haven't had 
a quarrel or anything, have you, Grace? 

G. No. 

M. Well, I should hope not, for, Grace, you just ought to hear 
Karl talk about Jack. Karl says he's the best fellow in the 
world, so generous. Karl says he does lots of good with his 
money, but Karl says no one would ever know it from him. 
Karl told me certain things he had found out. 

G. [Tosses her head] Nobody's opinion of him could ever in- 
fluence me over my own judgment. 

M. Well, if that man ever offers himself to you, Grace — 

G. He never will. I won't let him. 

M. You won't let him ? Oh, why, Grace? You are making 
an awful mistake. 

G. [Slowly] Because he's already done it, and I've accepted 
him. 

M. You have ! Well, of all things ! What, you're engaged 
too I [They fall into one another's arms] I never was more sur- 
prised. How perfectly lovely 1 When was it? Have you been 
engaged longer than we have, I wonder? Karl, come here. 
[Delightedly] It seems we're all engaged. 

Karl. So it seems. [Karl and Jack come forioard laughing. 
All shake hands and congratidate one another. Previous to this 
J. had evidently told K. , for there was congratulation between the 
two men when G. and M. were just seen to etribraee. 



UNCLE joe's jewel 25 

Enter Mr. Winthrop (C.) 

Mr. W. "What's all this ? [Looks at the four] Why all these 
felicitations? {Assumed sternnes?,'] Some orders from the other 
end of the world? [As though soyne wonderful ''orders" must 
he what they ivere so joyous over] Look at all this mail, will you! 
[Shows another handful] [Comes forivard delightedly and sits at 
his table, foreground C] [Opens letter, rubs his hands gleefidly] 
Well, if this isn't great! An order from the largest cooking- 
utensil firm in the country I Grace, see here. [Holds out letter 
at right, not looking] [G. and J. are in deep conversation, en- 
tirely oblivious. Mr. W. waves letter as though expecting some- 
body to take it] [Looks around] Oh ! [Takes same letter in his 
other hand] Molly, you'll be interested in this. [Waves same at 
left. No response. Looks around, and sees the other couple also 
looking into each other's faces, and talking in low tones] Where 
would this business go to, I'd like to know, if it wasn't for me ! 
[Aside] What can I say to attract them ? [Opens another letter] 
Oh, here's just the thing ! [Aloud] Love ! [The four all start] 

M., G., J. and K. [In unison] Love ! [All come forward 
radiant with interest] 

Mr. W. [Business-tones] [Still looking at letter] Mrs. Mar- 
gery Love of Bagdad, Florida, wants one dozen with double- 
quick attachment. [The four after seeing that it is a mere con- 
tinuation of business, laugh at their having been so well taken in, 
then turn to each other with affectionate glances, and resume 
former attitudes] [Mr. W. turns about, and looks at first couple, 
theji turns about and looks at the other] [Aside] H'm ! Effect 
was very fleeting ! [Opens another letter] [Aside] Oh, here we 
have it. [Rises] [Aloud] Two valentines ! 

M., G., J. and K. Valentines 1 [All come forward] Mr. W. 
hands one envelope to G. and one to M, both of which are opened 
with eagerness] 

J. Who is sending valentines here, I'd like to know ! 

K. Now I begin to be jealous. 

Mr. W. [Aside] Love and valentines! That does it every 
time. 

G. [Waves a cheque delightedly] [M.. hastens for sight of same] 
We've won the prize, and they have sent us each a sample val- 
entine. [To Mr. W.] We made up a valentine, Molly and I, 



26 UNCLE joe's jewel 

Uncle Joe, and have won the prize. [To J.] Oh, Jack, you 
must see our valentine. I thought of you when I composed it. 

M. [M. calls from opposite side of roovi] There 1 I knew 
you did, and you said you didn't. 

K. Didn't j^ou think of me, Molly, when you composed your 
part ? 

M. Yes Karl, I did. I wondered if these red bow-knots — 
would match — let me see — [Puts valentine mischievovsly near Ms 
head] 

G. [Steps to Mr. Ws right side, J. being on G's right] Oh, 
Uncle Joe ! You must have guessed what's going to happen ? 
You'll give me away, won't you, Uncle Joe? [Clings to one of 
his arms] 

M. [Steps in same way to Mr. W.'s left side, with K. on her 
left] You'll give me away. Uncle Joe, won't you ? [Clings to 
other arm] 

Mr. W. And the boys have given themselves away without 
my help ! Well, I thought they would. 

K. I've always been in love with Molly. 

J. I've always said I could never marry any woman but 
Grace. 

Mr. W. H'm, and who is to look after the business? 

M. and G. Oh, yes, the business — [Look perplexed and some- 
lohat bored] 

Mr. W. Well, we may as well tell you, girls, that we orga- 
nized it last night. These two young men have been very 
generous. They will see that the business is looked after, and it 
will bring in a nice little income for you. They refuse any part 
of the profits. It will all stand in your two names. 

M. But, Uncle Joe, you really invented it. You ought to have 
a share. 

Mr. W. I give up my part to you both as a marriage portion. 
[Both hands in gesture of giving as he includes M. and G. in his 
bow] 

M. Oh, Uncle Joe ! 

G. How good of you, and how nice that it is named for you ! 
When our money comes in from time to time we can always 
think " It is really through Uncle Joe." 

J. Well, I guess you girls would think it was through your 



UNCLE joe's jewel 27 

Uncle Joe if you could know how splendidly he has provided for 
you both. 

K. [Earnestly] He has put in this business in your names a 
separate sum for each of — 

Mr. W. [Protestivg] Tut, tut. That's all right. They 
brought the thing out, these two clever girls. I'd been years 
thinking of it, but I might never have got it on the market ex- 
cept for them. But, girls, [Looks from one to the other] do 
you know you made a mistake in that advertisement of yours ? 

G. We didn't make the mistake. They made the mistake. 
We said one insertion, and they put it in " T. F." 

Mr. W. Not that, I mean you didn't put the advertisement 
in the right column. 

M. and Q. Right column ? [All interested] 

Mr. W. Yes, you should have put it in the matrimonial 
column. [All laugh] 

M. Oh, no, if you put an advertisement in the wrong column, 
you'll find it really gets more attention. But ours was all right, 
wasn't it, Grace ? We're satisfied with the results, aren't we ? 

G. It was a very successful advertisenaent. [Gla^ices coquet- 
tishly at J.] 

Mr. W. Yes, everything seems to be coming out to every- 
body's satisfaction, and as for me, I'm interested now in a new 
invention. 

G., M., J. and K. [One after another] A new invention? 
Oh, Uncle Joe, what is it? [All come closer to him in their in- 
terest] 

Mr. W. [Slowly] It's a sort of combination lock, a double 
lock, one might say. [Puts fingers together, demonstrating] 1 
think I'll make it a sort of heart-shape. 

G., M., J. and K. Heart-shape? How interesting ! 

Mr. W. Yes, I thought that shape would meet with appro- 
val all around. [Looks significantly at them. All laugh] 

G. What will you name it, Uncle Joe ? 

Mr. W. Well, I'm not sure, but I think I shall call it [All 
are gathered about him ; a couple on either side at whom he looks 
meaningly] A Double Wedding 1 

CURTAIN. 



COSTUMES 



Act I. — Pretty house dresses. 

Act II.— Afternoon dresses for Gr. and M. Nora with tightly 
braided hair is neatly dressed and wears a white apron which 
runs up over shoulders. Mr. W. travelling suit. Postman in 
uniform, with bag, package of letters, etc. 

Act III. — Mr. W. morning dress, smoking jacket with slippers 
or low shoes. Others, G. M. J. and K. as though directly from 
out-of-doors, the girls in dainty costumes, wearing their hats, 
etc. Grloves may be worn by G. and M. and later removed or 
may be carried as they enter. 



bv K. McDo well rice, WORTHiNGtoN, MASg. 

A SUCCESSFUL STRATAGEM 

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



Dramatis Personae 

Colonel Wentwobth . . . Retired army ofHcer 

Colonel Ashmoke . . . .In active service 

Caroline Wentwobth . An only daughter, aged 18 

Nora ........ A maid 

Time 1 hour 



"A charming, brilliant little comedy."— C/ia»-ies Eliot Norton. 

" Bright and entertaining, compact and manageable, lending itself to the 
conditions of almost any nomie m our land." — Airs. L. I<\ ISeifridge, Foot's 
Cray, Kent, London, England. 

" If you happen to need a little play that may be easily acted by amateurs 
in a home evening, send to K. McDowell Bice, Worthington, Mass., and 
pi'ocure her list of original plays. They are clever and droll, and the stage 
properties and setting come within the means of a little company of high 
school girls, or of a charitable association or guild. They have not one ob- 
jectionable feature and have many good ones."— Mrs. Margaret E. Sangster, 
III Hunshine Bulletin. 

"I have seen your booklet containing the comedy, 'A Successful Strata- 
gem,' which i hud wonderfully clever, and as I am thinking of giving a 
little dramatic entertainment in my home for the Woman's Club, I think 
this play will be most entertaining." — Mrs. Myron Dickson, Martinsville, 
Indiana. 

"The choicest comedy in your collection." — Miss Isadelle C. Couch, In- 
structor of Vocal Training, Mt. Holyoke College, Mass. 

"Any Sunshiner seeking a clean, bright play for college, school or home 
theatricals, will not do better than to try • Good as Gold ' and 'A Successful 
Stratagem.' " — Mary D. Beattie in iSunshine Bulletin. 

" I need always some bit of humor in my programs, and it is difficult to 
find pure light humor that ii not plebeian, if our plays are most excellent 
in this very particular, that they are entirely above coarseness." — Miss M. 
M. Davis, Instructor in Expression and Oratory, Hillsdale College, Hillsdale, 
Michigan. 

"■ Your plays are most attractive. The best thing of the kind I have seen. 
You have my permission, most heartily granted, to use my endorsement, as 
it Is such a pleasure to lind plays that are fresh, interesting and ' playable,' 
after looking over quantities of the silly, inane trash that is published to- 
day." — E. B. Merrill, Walla Walla, Wasliington. 

"I regard your comedies as admirably adapted to school and church en- 
tertainments and hope to use another at some future date." — Bev. C. E. 
Porter, Corinth, N. V. 

"I am delighted with 'A Successful Stratagem,' and with all your plays." 
— Mrs. Salome Cutler Fairchild, Vice-Director Library School, Albany, iV. V. 

"A Successful Stratagem " has been given by Smith College students at 
Morris House and Belmont House, Northampton, Mass. ; also by the pupils of 
Miss Liggett's Home and Day School, Detroit, Mich., and by many others. 

Price 25 cents 



By K. Mcd6Well rice, worthington, mass. 
GOOD AS GOLD 

A COMEDY IN FOUE ACTS 
(Second Edition with Notes) 



Dramatis Personae 

Mrs. Rogers 
Marie ^ 

DoloTHY (■ ... daughters of Mrs. Rogers 

Theodora ) 

Mrs. Laura Vose .... sister of Mrs. Rogers 

Miss LuoiNDA Phelps 

Rosa 

Janet I 

Isabel j 

Baggage-man 

Musicians 



distant cousin of Mrs. Rogers 
the maid 

little school girls 



As many male characters as desired may be introduced in Act II as trav- 
elers, newsboys, ticket agent, boot black, etc., etc. (See notes). 

Play may be given by female characters only if preferred. A stewardess 
may be substituted for the baggage-man or baggage-man eliminated. (See 
notes). 

Time— The present. Place— New England village. 

Time in representation, longer form 2 hours ; shorter form 1]4 hours. 
Given with equal success by girls' schools and women's clubs. 



"Original and clever with interest sustained to the very end." — Rt. Eev. 
Wm. Croswell Doane, D. D., LL. D., Bishop, Albany, N. Y. 

"The best play I have yet seen for girls." — Miss Tebbetts, Principal of St. 
Margaret's School, San Mateo, California. 

"Every one pronounced it one of the prettiest plays ever seen." — Miss 
Josephine M. Taft, Greenville, N. H. 

"Thank you for a play which is so bright and charming and so full of good 
wholesome fun." — Miss Susan E. Borthwick, Portsmouth, N. H. 

"Enclosed find our program of ' Gentlemen's Night,' which passed off very 
pleasantly. All evidently appreciated the comical situations in ' Good as 
Gold,' and the ladies certainly made the most of them. The gentlemen 
seemed greatly to en.joy the play, and we were all agreed that it was a 
bright, clean comedy, very suitable for occasions like ours."— ^m/ierst 
Woman''s Club, Amherst, Mass. 

" We presented the play, ' Good as Gold,' at our summer residence before 
an audience of a hundred and fifty people. The tickets were sold at seventy- 
five cents apiece and the proceeds given to a local chai-ity. The parts were 
taken by ten girls from twelve to fourteen years of age and they did them- 
selves, as well as those who had instructed them, great credit. Many pro- 
nounced it the best piece of amateur acting they ever had seen. The play, 
itself, was highly commended by all as being extremely refined, free from 
all foolish ideas, bright and interesting from beginning to end."— Jira 
Eugene N. Foss, Cohasset, Mass. 

Price 25 cents 



&Y K. Mcdowell rice, W6RTHiNGtoiM, Mass. 

MRS. BAGG'S BARGAIN DAY 

A COMEDY IN TWO ACTS 



Dramatis Personae 

Mrs. Bagg Mrs. Fagg 

Madelaine Bagg Mrs. Lagg 

Benny Bagg , Mrs. Pettit 

Younger Baggs Mrs. Short 

Mrs. Tagg Mrs. Grand 

Mrs. Ragg 

Mr. Bagg 
Mr. Talkhard 
Cash boys, clerks, shoppers, maid, workmen, etc., etc. 
Act. 1. — Interior of a department store. Act II. — Mrs. Bagg's home. 

Time in representation 1 to IJ^ hours, as preferred. 



"The charming little comedy ' Mrs. Bagg's Bargain Day,' was given most 
successfully last night before the Fortnightly Club of this place, and all were 
in hearty appreciation of its delightful merit. The play was in the hands 
of gifted amateurs, so the humor and pertinence of the text were in no way 
impaired." — Eleanor Havens Grant, Jamestown, N. Y. 

" Given by Unity Dramatic Club, Springfield, Mass. The chapel was 
packed full of people and so many turned away that the performance will be 
again presented. A remarkably bright little pla,j .Springfield Republican. 

Given by Alumnae of Albany Academy for Girls, benefit of Endowment 
Fund, $350 realized. Later repeated by same amateurs for various charities, 
seven performances in all being given. " A tremendous success from start 
to finish. Large and enthusiastic audiences at every representation. — Al- 
bany Argus. 

" ' Mrs. Bagg's Bargain Day ' was by far the greatest hit of anything ever 
tried here. We found the parts very easy to take." — Miss Edith Irwin, Presi- 
dent Y. W. C. A., Iberia Academy, Iberia, Missouri. 

"Given by the young people of St. Paul's Church, Poughkeepsie, N. Y. 
Not a dull line in it." — Rev. Francis Whitcome, Rector. 

" We presented ' Mrs. Bagg's Bargain Day ' last Friday night at the school- 
house to a very appreciative audience. We were so well pleased that we 
shall probably want to give another of your plays in the autumn."— Jia?-?-?/ 
McCuUoch, Class President, Freeport High School, Freeport, III. 

" The play succeeded excellently. We received considerable applause and 
what we most wanted, lots of laughter." — Kennebunk Festival Chorus, Ken- 
nebunk, Maine. 

"We wish to extend our congratulations to the author of 'Mrs. Bagg's 
Bargain Day ' upon the success achieved in the presentation of the comedy 
here at Bay View. It was given by the young people for the benefit of the 
Woman's Emergency Fund. Although learned and staged within a week, 
it was carried through without a break before a large and most appreciative 
audience which is a tribute to the worth of the play."— ^dtward Dodge War- 
ner, Petoskey, Mich. 

Price 25 cents. 



By k. McDowell rice, worthington, mass. 

CHARLEY'S COUNTRY COUSIN 

A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS 



Dramatis Personse 

Mrs. Charles Courtney Carleton 
Miss Margaret Moffat 
Bridget 

Mr. Charles Courtney Carleton 
Time— The present. Place — Home of Mr. and Mrs. Carleton. 



" One of the most interesting occurrences of the season at Worthington, 
Mass., was the initial presentation last week of ' Charley's Country Cousin,' 
the author's latest comedy. The play was enthusiastically received. There 
were some charming scenes between 'Charley' and his 'Country Cousin,' 
especially that over the telephone, and some very natural and spicy dialogue 
between Mr. and Mrs. Carleton over the arrangements for an afternoon 'At 
Home.' Bridget's various deductions and sui-prises kept the audience con- 
stantly laughing whenever she appeared." — Hampshire Gazette. 

'■ Miss Rice has in the comedy, ' Charley's Country Cousin,' added another 
to her list of delightful plays. The author is not only very well known in 
this city socially, but also as a writer of clever and original comedies, her 
' Mrs. Bagg's Bargain Day,' which was presented several times last season, 
meeting with the greatest favor. This latest play met a most appreciative 
audience at every production. There were enthusiastic calls for the author 
both evenings." — Albany Argus. 

" ' Charley's Country Cousin ' was a great success here and we did not 
consider it at all hard to give. We had two persons for Topsy and counter- 
part and each did a monologue in the place where she was supposed to be 
rehearsing. Topsy also did a colored song very well. All who heard the 
play said it was the best we had had of the short ones and remarkably well 
suited to any entertainment given under the auspices of the church." — Miss 
Elisabeth G. Day, Colchester., Conn. 

"In view of other amateur plays which I have seen, there is not anything 
that so perfectly meets the need as your plays. In the matter of adaptability 
to amateur talent, in action, in humor (at once emphatic and fresh and 
clean) and in simple natural literary style your writings cannot be excelled." 
— Rev. W. H. Garth, St. MichaeVs Rectory, Naugatuck, Conn. 

"We gave the play 'Charley's Country Cousin' as a D. A. R. entertain- 
ment and all enjoyed it very much. Many thought it was one of the best 
that had ever been given in the town." — Miss Clara Davis, Fra-niingham,Mass. 

Price 25 cents 



By K. McDOWeLL rICE, WOrThINGYoN, MA3S. 



DR* HARDHACK^S PRESCRIPTION 



A PLAY FOR CHILDREN 



FOUR SHORT ACTS 



DRAMATIS PERSONAE 

Grandma Proudie 
Mamma Proudie 
Emily Proudie 
Aunt Flighty 
Aunt Highty-Tighty 
Pussy Willow 
Mary, the maid 
Dr. Hardback 



"One of the most charming little plays for children I ever 
have seen." — Mrs. G. J. Thomas, Chattanooga, Tenn. 

"A dear little play and we greatly enjoyed working it up. 
Our audience was very enthusiastic and we are being urged to 
repeat the comedy."'— Miss A. H. Young, Wilton, N. H. 

Price 25 cents 



&Y k. IWcDOWElL RICE, WbRtHlNGTON, MASS. 

MRS. TUBBS'S TELEGRAM 

A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



Dramatis Personae 



Mrs. Tubbs 

ROWBNA 

AMELIA 

Tommy ^ _ _ Children of Mrs. Tubbs 

Teddy 

and 
Other Little Tubbs 
Mrs. Raven j 

Mrs. DONNELL ( . . . Neighbors of Mrs. Tubbs 

Miss Simpkins C 

and others ) 

As few or many neighbors as desired 
Telegraph Messenger 

Place— Kitchen of Mrs. Tubbs at Cinder Corner. If given as an out-door 

play, action takes place on Mrs. Tubbs's back piazza. 

Time in representation 45 minutes. 

Given by all ages with equal success as following endorsements will show. 
The parts of " Teddy " and •' Tommy " may be taken by girls dressed as boys 
or names may be changed to those of girls. 



'• Our club presented your very clever little play, ' Mrs. Tubbs's Tele- 
gram,' last evening before an audience of 400 persons who were most enthu- 
siastic.'" — Mrs. Richard Farmer Wood, Concord, Mass. 

"The best chapter play ever given at Vassar to my knowledge." — An 
Instructor for many years at the college. Quoted by Mabel H. Baldwin, 
Vassar College, Foughkeepsie, iV. Y. 

"The play was just what we wanted and proved the greatest kind of a 
success.'" — Charlotte W. Passmore, Morris House, Smith College, Northamp- 
ton, Mass. 

"The little chapel was tilled and 'Mrs. Tubbs' was greatly enjoyed. It 
was a genuine satisfaction to give such a pure, clean little play with life and 
fun from beginning to end."'— Miss Georgiana Clinton, South Norwalk, Conn. 

" Everyone spoke of it as a very bright little play and just the thing for a 
church. "We got along nicely without a curtain."— Af?-s. F. S. Field, Shat- 
tuckviUe, Mass. 

" "We gave the comedy to a very large audience in the town hall, who re- 
ceived it with the wildest enthusiasm."'— P»-mcipaZ High School, Windsor, 
Conn. 

"Given five times for five different charities by Y. "W. C. A. of Fough- 
keepsie, N. Y. Our last audience was larger and if possible even more 
enthusiastic than our flrst."' — Miss Emma Mott, General Secretary Y. W. C. A. 

" I consider the play the most amusing production of the sort that I have 
ever come across." — Randall Baker, Reader-in-Charge, St. Andrew's Chapel, 
Geneva, N. Y. 

" People laughed with rare abandon and expressed much pleasure for the 
half hour of such pure amusement. "We introduced the black Mammy 
who made a great hit." — Miss Elizabeth Clement, Franklin, N. H. 

Price, 25 cents. 



Bv K. Mcdowell rice, worthington, mass. 



MRS. TUBBS'S TELEGRAM 



AS GIVEN BY CHiLDRK.N 



"We gave ' Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram ' in our barn. The carriage house 
formed the stage and the people were seated as audienee on the lawn in 
front. They were so much pleased with the performance that they insisted 
on its being repeated at night. "We made twenty dollars, five cents admis- 
sion, for the ' Indianapolis News Fresh Air Fund' for poor children. All of 
us girls want to thank you for giving us permission to act the play." — Signed 
by eight little girls of Rushville, Indiana. 

" None of us are more than ten years old and we are afraid we cannot act 
well enough to charge admission to 'Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram.' We expect 
our friends to come and see it. We think it is a fine play and so easy to get 
the room and costumes to play it in." — Rhoda Fullam, Annapolis, Md. 

"We heartily commend the capital little play ' Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram ' as 
a very natural and amusing comedietta which is quite within the acting ca- 
pacities of every-day boys and girls. And not the least point in its favor is 
the fact that the necessary costumes and properties for its performance can 
be easily found, or made up, in any well furnished home. It demands no 
elaborate preparation and would, no doubt, be equally successful as a parlor 
play or a Sunday-school entertainment." — Editorial Notes St. Nicholas. 

" The Boys' Mission Band of the Presbyterian Church of this place gave 
two successful presentations of 'Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram'." — Mrs. Mary E. 
Merrick, Titusville, Pa. 

"Our plays were the most successful we ever have given and ' Mrs. Tubbs's 
Telegram,' though arranged in little more than a week, was well done and 
thoroughly enjoyed." — Young People's Guild, South Glastonbury, Conn. 

"A little comedy designed to supply a real demand — that of a wholesome 
amusing play to be used in school or home theatricals." — The Outlook. 

"A crowded house and every one highly entertained. It is just the thing 
for home entertainments where children are to take part." — Miss Lillian 
Fischer, Fulton, Missouri. 

" Our Junior Auxiliary gave ' Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram ' with great success. 
It entirely captivated our audience." — Lucia W. Nutt, Walston, N. Y. 

" Just the right sort of play for boys and girls to give."— Mrs. J*^. W. Davis, 
Cumberland, Maine. 

Price, 25 cents. 



By k. Mcdowell rice, woRTHrNCTON, mass. 

GOOD KING WENCESLAS 

A CHRISTMAS PLAY FOR CHILDREN IN TWO ACTS 



This play was written to meet a request of church workers for a Christmas 
entertainm^ent of dram^atic character to be given within one hour and with 
no change of scene. The author, therefore, has arranged Act I to be read 
aloud to an audience with no acting, which reading shall be followed by the 
rise of curtain and the presentation of the two scenes of Act 11. The dra- 
matic parts for the play, as thus arranged, are those only that are found in 
Act II, and are given below. All may be readily taken by children. 



Dame Goody 


(Hedwig) 


Gretchen 




Violet ^ 




Bernice I 


>- 


Kenneth ' 




Pattlinb 
Louise 






Esther 




Olive 


> ■ 


Dorothy 


Laurence 




Ralph 




David 





Children of Mrs. Collingwood 



Friends of the Collingwood children 



Other children may be added, if desired, ox the above number lessened. 
(See notes.) 



" We had a most successful Christmas entertainment. The applause was 
so loud we feared the children would forget to finish their parts."— Jfiss 
Alice F. Danforth, Springfield, Mass. 

"A great success for a Christmas entertainment, there is so much life and 
color in it, so much song and emotion. It is well and carefully done with 
both the proportion of moderation and the charm of deep sentiment."— 
David S. Muzzey, Ph. D., Yonkers, N. Y. 

"It is difficult to find words to express my admiration for the play ' Good 
King Wenceslas.' I believe it will be far-reaching in its influence."— ilfws 
N. H. Cotrell, Albany, N . Y. 

" It is splendid." — Rev. Wm. H. Garth, St. MichaeVs Rectory, Naugatuck, 
Conn. 

Price 25 cents 



I 



By k. Mcdowell rice, worthington, mass. 

GOOD KING WENCESLAS 

(See foregoing page.) 



The play may be given more elaborately by the representing 
on the stage of Act I. This arrangement will call for the addi- 
tion of the following characters : 

Helen Armstrong, a girl of 15, afterward Mrs. Collingwood 

Four School Girls 

Edwin, a footman 

Man, a thief 

Woman, a thief 

Boy 

Train Announcer 

Gateman, who inspects tickets 

Other R. E,. officials, passengers, etc., etc. 
Scene laid at New York R. R. Station 



'•Simple and picturesque, bright and pathetic in turn." — Rt. 
Rev. Alexander H. Vinton, D. D., Bishop, Springfield, Mass. 

"It breathes the Christmas spirit and has a true dramatic 
interest that holds one to the end." — Miss Eleanor Meneely, 
Albany, N. Y. 

" I have greatly enjoyed ' Good King Wenceslas.' The intro- 
duction of the carols is a beautiful feature of the play. Your 
work along these lines is a work that has long been needed." 
— Rev. Fredk. J. Sawers, Christ Church Cathedral, Montreal, 
Canada. 

"The play is splendid and the first act is great. I hope we 
can give ' Good King Wenceslas,' for your plays are so ' playa- 
ble,' it is a joy to work over them." — Miss Marion H. Sterns, 
Instructor in Elocution and Physical Culture, Staten Island 
Academy, Staten Island, N. Y. 

" The children fully enjoyed giving 'Mrs. Tubbs's Telegram' 
and ' Mrs. Bagg's Bargain Day,' but ' Good King Wenceslas ' will 
excel them both. Christmas is so happy a time for children, 
then songs make a play the more attractive. These carols are 
charming and rendered by children are doubly so." 

— Miss Lois B. Warner, Salisbury, Conn. 

Price 25 cents 



By k. Mcdowell rice, worthington, mass. 

UNCLE JOE'S JEWEL 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



Initial Performance of Miss Rice's "Uncle Joe's Jewel " a Success. 



The initial performance of a three-act comedy at Worthington, 
" Uncle Joe's Jewel. " the latest play of Miss Katharine McDowell 
Rice, took place Friday. The parts were all excellently taken as 
follows : 

Molly Armstrong Mrs. O. B. Ireland 

Grace Horton The author 

Nora, the janitor's daughter Miss Rachel Ely 

Mr. Winthrop ("Uncle Joe" ) W. G. Rice, Jr. 

Jack Wetherbee Raymond Buck 

Karl Pfefifer Donald Stevens 

Postman Raymond Laird 

Stage Manager— Miss Susan Rice. 

The audience was a most appreciative one, the play being re- 
ceived with constant laughter and applause. Among those from 
out of town who came especially for the play were Mr. and Mrs. 
Goddard of New York, Mrs. and Miss Gardner and Mr. Henry 
Carter of Albany, Mr. and Mrs. Mellor of Philadelphia. Mrs. Wil- 
liam Bryant of Montclair. N. J., Mrs. Lyman James of Williams- 
burg, Mrs. Harry Williams and Mrs. H. R. Hinckley of North- 
ampton. Mrs. and Miss Merritt and Mr. Merritt of Brooklyn, 
Mrs. Gillette of Hudson. Prof. Wellington of Amherst, and Dr. 
and Mrs. Gibbs of Huntington. Word was received from Sena- 
tor and Mrs. Crane that they had hoped to be present, but were 
unavoidably detained. There were also large parties from Mid- 
dlefield. South Worthington, Littleville and Chesterfield. Be- 
tween Acts I and II some charming novelties from Paris were 
sold by Mrs. W. G. Rice for benefit of new scenery and cur- 
tains, about $25 being realized. Between Acts II and III Mrs. 
Rice delighted the audience with some French songs, accompan- 
ied by Miss Julia Rogers of Springfield. After the play the 
audience went largely out of doors to enjoy the charming after- 
noon. Here Miss Rice received many congratulations on the suc- 
cess of the play ; $35 was received at the door, to which was 
added $17 from friends present, making a total of $52 for the 
library. The play was repeated in the evening for the benefit of 
the woman's benevolent society and parish work, when $60 was 
realized. — Springfield Republican. 

" I am delighted to express my appreciation of 'Uncle Joe's 
Jewel' given by our Woman's Guild of St. Peter's Church. It 
is a very bright, clever little comedy."— ilfrs. H. A. Field, Spring- 
field, Mass. 

Price 25 cents 



By K. McDdWELL RtCE, WORtHINgtoN, JMAdd. 

L'ORDONNANCE DU DOCTEUR 

A VERSION IN FRENCH OF 
DR. HARDHACK'S PRESCRIPTION 

Manuscript Loaned until Play is in Print 



GOLFER GOOP'S GAUNTLET 

FOR CHILDREN 

Entertainment to be given with 
PUNCH AND JUDY PUPPETS 



Manuscript Loaned 
AN ENTERTAINMENT OF 

NEW WAX WORKS 

With Up-to-Date Figures and Original Speeches 

A modern adaptation of the old and well-known Mrs. Jarley's 
Wax Works 



Manuscript Loaned 



By K. Mcdowell rice, woRtHiNdiToN, mass. 



TWO MONOLOGS 



The New Grocer 



AND 



The Removal of Marthy's Appendix 



TO APPEAR LATER IN PRINT 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



017 400 115 7 i 




